A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions: LAWYER: Have you any grounds? POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms. LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded. LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations are in Poland." LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set &DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is "yes." LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up? POLE: NO, I'm always up before her. LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger? POLE: NO, she white. LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce? POLE: SHE going to kill me. LAWYER: What makes you think that? POLE: I got proof. LAWYER: What kind of proof? POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, "Polish Remover."